Yay, Brian!

Who are you Slater? I've never figured it out.

Think park ranger.

it's kind of funny how brian's anonymity has been so thoroughly compromised by this. Considering how reluctant you used to be to show your voice, your face, or even your last name, at what point did you say "eh, screw it"?

I think that Olberman dude should be in the movie, wringing his hands and declaring the predicament in that ridiculously non-sequiter tone he uses.

I think whoever writes Olbermann's jokes should be canned, now.

"at what point did you say 'eh, screw it'?"

I believe the creation of "Brian's Rumors Daily" in 1998 may've been the moment.

Yes, but as you're recall with RumorsDaily, the 'Brian's' part got smaller with each redesign. One more redesign and it would have been gone altogether.

I asked them if they could light it from behind so you couldn't see my face, they said no.

lorelei, i agree; but i don't think it's just the joke-writers, i think it's the deep vicarious embarrassment i feel for olbermann every time he opens his shrill stupid gullet. how the F did that jackass get a network show? maybe that's a stupid question; perhaps his jackassery is the draw; like donohue, rivera, and colmes, if you're a liberal, the MSM ensures you also have the brain capacity of a freakin' sparrow. wait, wait, the geraldo inclusion is an insult to sparrows everywhere.

wow. such venom for keith olbermann, who i would much rather see on TV than any of you people. except for brian, i guess.

slater's the fucking park ranger? that explains so much.

except why the fuck he uses "slater" as a moniker when he doesn't even hate preppies.

ps on the issue of brian's anonymity, i suppose the rest of the world doesn't have to know that it's really brian doing all of those interviews. maybe he's hired an actor to portray him specifically for the purposes of general media inquiries. maybe the brian we've "known" all these years is actually that actor. i wouldn't put anything past anyone with his last name.

jbg, just to get this straight: you hate NPR and like Olbermann? i have to determine that your taste in media is designed for the sole purpose of shock and awe.

name 1 black person you know who listens to NPR.

ps who didn't go to harvard.

geraldo rivera's a liberal?

does e. calloway listen to npr? he didn't go to harvard...

edited by crazymonk -- the only full name of a private citizen allowed here is jon may

I think Rembrandt "Cryin' Man" Brown listens to NPR, no? Right before he drove his car into the alternate universe.

"wow. such venom for keith olbermann, who i would much rather see on TV than any of you people. except for brian, i guess."
-Yep, policing myself right now really intensely.

(still laughing) jbg, are you asserting that you are black, or just that your media taste demonstrates that you have street cred, or that black people who go to harvard aren't really black, and/or that "black people" listen to the Countdown? those are all pretty funny theses.

but i would put None of them past you.

Would black people 'listen' to Countdown because they can't afford a TV with functional video?

Because that's racist.

i hate npr because it almost perfectly exemplifies everything i hate about white people. and as you know, "down with Whitey" is my motto.

ps only a white person would use "theses" when they could have easily said "opinions" or "points."

pps if jon may and crazymonk can "assert" they are, say, "heterosexuals," i can certainly assert that i'm black.

ppps i only mentioned "who didn't go to harvard" because all y'all went to harvard, and i wanted you to think of someone who wasn't a token black friend. think outside the box, people! this ain't no Must-See-TV, aight!

yes, and vegetarianism is the bane of the white people.

I think if I were black, I would find this conversation equal parts hilarious and slightly patronizing.

It's more interesting to think of NPR listeners in terms of personality. I like NPR a lot, but I think the people who listen to it are mostly predictable in their squishy bleeding-heart reactions to things. We are [spiritually, if not in fact] people who grow beards and agonize over public vs. private education for our children and give to Amnesty International. And I'm OK with that.

Seriously though, I'd like to assert two THESES: 1) *nevermind, that would be rude*, and 2) *oh, no, nevermind, that would be rude, too*

"ppps i only mentioned “who didn’t go to harvard” because all y’all went to harvard, and i wanted you to think of someone who wasn’t a token black friend. think outside the box, people! this ain’t no Must-See-TV, aight!"

-except honestly, what I really want to do for my own edification is clearly dissociate myself from this statement. For the record. You never know who's watching. And by the way, I for one did not go to Harvard. But let's just say I've met some of Flea and Crazymonk's friends from them parts, and they were across the board pretty f'in cool. And they might not like it if they knew you suggested they were token, even in jest.

Also, I think your hatred of NPR has a lot more to do with class than with race. I went to a new Whole Foods last night that's located not too far from me, and though there were many whites there, there were also many people there who weren't white. But one thing they all mostly were not: working-class. I think the same applies to NPR.

"But one thing they all mostly were not: working-class."
-Totally true as well of the Union Sq. Whole Foods- unless you count those behind the cash registers and stocking the shelves.

eh, you're probably all right about everything. what would i know? i'm just a black man trying to make it in a white man's world, anyway.

also, there is no whole foods in Union Square.

(I think he means the Union Square in NYC.)

i know what he means. the only real Union Square is in Somerville. all others are fake Union Squares. i know it, you know it, Adam Schlessinger knows it.

Man, I can't stand Whole Foods. I mean, not every product HAS to have Flax in it. What is Flax, anyway?

Whatever it is, it should stay in flaxen hair, where it belongs.

A photographer from the Washington Times just came and took my picture. He was cool.

It's a fibrous plant that helps you shit right.

But in Vegas, Whole Foods is valuable for providing a good selection of produce, meat, fish, cheeses, and such -- the sort of thing yuppies take for granted in Cambridge or Georgetown but is damn hard to find in Vegas unless you're in an expensive restaurant on the Strip.

crazymonk, you are the whitest fucking white dude i have ever heard of. shit.

Flax seed is full of omega-3 fatty acids, which are supposed to be good for your heart. You can also use them as an egg substitute if you're a dirty vegan hippie.

I'm sure Vegas will be full of fancy grocery stores within five years, at the rate that things are growing there.

Since crazymonk comes from Sicily, I would dare say he is much "blacker" than you, jgb.

i'm middle eastern.

i’m middle eastern.
No, no, no, you're fucking not.

And if you were, all the talk about how much white people suck would be creepy. We've got snakes on the motherfucking plane.

you don't know me.

and also, i really, uh, resent anybody trying to, uh, "approve" or "disapprove" of my, uh, self-identification. that's, like, so anti-liberal, and aren't you all good little NPR lovers? "bush lied!" "no blood for oil!"
"stay out of my vagina!"

jesse, i love you.

for the record, i switch back and forth between npr and rush on my way to work. i like to wake up schizophrenic.

you like rush? that band is so 70's.

also, seriously, stay the fuck out of my vagina.

ps my middle-eastern vagina.

pps hatred of the white man is never creepy, it is only righteous.

ppps, actually, reading that back it did sound kind of creepy. oh well, snakes on a plane.

What? What?

nothing, dude. go back to sleep, no one's landed yet.

wow. spending all day on crazymonk's blog. christ, i have a very, very boring job.

Just to keep this thing going, what do you all think about abortion?

i'm in favor of mandatory abortions. good night, everyone.