Good list. I love: There Are Plenty of Mohicans.

I still think my list of taking famous first lines from books and changing them into the second person future tense is a good idea too.

You will call yourself Ismael.

yup, but i also liked:

Four Bachelorette Parties and a Friend in the Hospital

clearly, "there are plenty of mohicans" is the best.

"it will be your best of times, it will be your worst of times."

"It will be love at first sight. The first time you see the chaplain you will fall madly in love with him."

"As you will awake one morning from uneasy dreams you will find yourself transformed in your bed into a gigantic insect."

or how about a list of ethnic crayons

arrrrrr. there be literary pirates around here.

you will be in here.

er, i mean "you will be seated in an office, surrounded by heads and bodies." I totally didn't know that. huh.

you thought the first line was "i am in here"? blasphemy. my guess is that that's the 3rd or 4th line.

Ethnic Crayons! I forgot about that idea. I should get back to work on that. Did I decide on Injun Red or Commie Red?

Or, maybe Ruskie Red instead of Commie Red to keep with the ethnic theme.

I guess the crayon labelled White would be the current Flesh color.

you will please allow me to introduce myself, you will be a man of wealth and taste.

books, jbg, not songs. but i like it.

wouldn't it be more like "you will please allow yourself to introduce yourself....."